I wrote this one a year or two ago. Recently, a friend of mine asked me to send it to him so I thought I would share it here.
"Dear Douchebag"
Why does it seem like you are always in every class
And its not like you vary—No, always a grade A smart ass
doing absolutely anything to pass
I see you before class asking the teacher how it goes
I see you walking out, after class, with a nasty brown nose
You scum, they should throw your body off the face of the earth
Or stuff you back in the uterus that gave you birth
You try to impress us with your trivial knowledge
reciting every civil war battle in reverse chronological order
or naming the exact time General Lee gave his last order
Don’t get me wrong, I love those that aren’t ignorant
But you’re just a bulimic
regurgitating everything that comes your way
trying to impress and act like you’re better at everything you do and say
But we’re all just disgusted
reciting every civil war battle in reverse chronological order
or naming the exact time General Lee gave his last order
Don’t get me wrong, I love those that aren’t ignorant
But you’re just a bulimic
regurgitating everything that comes your way
trying to impress and act like you’re better at everything you do and say
But we’re all just disgusted
I know all you want to do is get acknowledged
but you don’t have to do that by flaunting your so-called-knowledge
Let someone else take the limelight
We all know that you got the answer and are bright
And don’t need to shout the answer to know that you’re right
So stop asking all those irrelevant questions.
Do you get off to that or is it just a sick, twisted obsession?
Oh and do you really need to voice your opinion on every little topic of discussion
because its you I always seem to hear amongst the classroom percussion
I mean caring about politics is fair
I am glad that you really do care
but don’t act like George Bush or Steven Colbert is your next love affair
but you don’t have to do that by flaunting your so-called-knowledge
Let someone else take the limelight
We all know that you got the answer and are bright
And don’t need to shout the answer to know that you’re right
So stop asking all those irrelevant questions.
Do you get off to that or is it just a sick, twisted obsession?
Oh and do you really need to voice your opinion on every little topic of discussion
because its you I always seem to hear amongst the classroom percussion
I mean caring about politics is fair
I am glad that you really do care
but don’t act like George Bush or Steven Colbert is your next love affair
And do you really think that we’re all going to fail
while you succeed?
Do you honestly believe it’s your pity that we need?
I know that you think you took the best path
while the rest of us have gone astray
but I don’t really give a fuck what you say
I do shit my way
while you succeed?
Do you honestly believe it’s your pity that we need?
I know that you think you took the best path
while the rest of us have gone astray
but I don’t really give a fuck what you say
I do shit my way
But hey let me break the news to you
before you go off and get crushed
You’re the only one with something to prove to us
So take that condescending mentality and stick it up your ass
and maybe then we can finally let you pass
I thought after high school we would finally be through
but when I got to college I came to realize
There are now 4,328 more of you
before you go off and get crushed
You’re the only one with something to prove to us
So take that condescending mentality and stick it up your ass
and maybe then we can finally let you pass
I thought after high school we would finally be through
but when I got to college I came to realize
There are now 4,328 more of you
So to all those douchebags out there I would just like to say
Thank you very much. Fuck you very much. And have a nice day
Sincerely, Phill.
